Why I never want to marry

1. To begin with – I hate the concept of a wedding. Of wasting a lot of money to wear uncomfortable clothes, sit in front of a fire that causes allergic reactions, chant slokas that I do not and probably never will understand. I think Arya samaj weddings are nice – but only to watch. What I really hate about weddings is feeding people you have probably said ‘hello’ to once in your entire life, who only yak and chatter and pass lousy comments throughout the wedding.
2. I do not want to relocate to another city. And yes, MOST people relocate at some point or another – it is typically the girl (I’m saying this based on married couples I personally know). I’m happy living in this city, having grown up here, having my parents here – please do not expect me to be married to you and stay in another city. I’d rather not be married.
3. I do not believe in ‘middle paths’ and ‘equal halves’. We all know there is always a bigger half. The bigger half typically goes to the more aggressive person in the couple, and one person is ALWAYS more aggressive and authoritative.
4. Perhaps I’d like to be the one who gets the bigger half. What perhaps – of course I do!
5. I do not want to come home tired and exhausted and have to cook for someone else. It is a different matter if there is someone to cook for me, but I do not like the idea of having to be that cook every now and then.
6. I like gaypop and Le Sport. I do not like Bimbo Boy’s music. I am currently listening to ‘If Neil Tennant was my lover’
7. Point 6 was a digression.
8. The biggest difference between dating and marriage is that marriage brings 2 families together – which is a terribly stressful thought. Perhaps I am brainwashed by Ekta Kapoor, but I DO NOT want my life to ever be about sarees and trauma jewelry and being paraded as an exhibit by in-laws and pilgrimages and poojas and what not.
9. I want to date others and not have people pass comments like ‘wojshooo-she is married but having dinner with some other fello’. Also, I do not want to tag along to all your friend’s parties and outings and what nots as exhibit: wife/gf/whatever. And once we marry, we have to be a ‘couple’ that does everything together. Like two stupid oxen yoked together for eternity. Yuck.
10. I do not want I to morph into US. Ever.
11. I want lots of babies, and I want them to be MY babies, not OURS. It’s a pity that human cloning is a big legal issue.
12. I am not a femextremist. I am mostly selfish, and love being so.
13. I strongly feel I was meant to be a single celled organism, mitosis and all. But guess wot, I’m not one :P
14. I also believe I am doing 'man'kind a huge favour by not getting married. You can gather whatever meaning you want from that statement :)
15. A divorce takes 6 months, a parting of ways takes lesser time.
16. I don't think 'living in' is any better. You still have to put up with one person and cook and clean and relocate and be an 'us' and go mad.
17. Amoebae rock! They can also make pretty flowery shapes, and cause a bad stomach - hehe.

An Apple a Day

1. An apple a day keeps the doctor away
   If the doctor is cute, keep the apple away
   
   
2. An apple a day keeps the doctor away
   Only if you aim well ;)
   
   
3. An apple a day keeps the doctor away
   A garlic a day keeps everyone away
   (Vampires too!)
   
   
4. An apple a day also keeps allergies away
   Antioxidants and all
   
   
5. If an apple a day causes leukemia,
   It’s been genetically modified.
   
   
6. An apple a day
   Makes the oranges and mangoes jealous
   
   
7. An apple, one day
   Did not keep Adam away
   
   
8. An Apple a day keeps Microsoft away
   
   
9. I heard people in New York never need to see a doctor...
   
   
10. An apple a day sadly does not keep the creeps and pests away!
    
    
11. An apple a day,
    Makes a hole in your pocket :(
    
    
12. An apple a day,
    Is bloody addictive!
    
    
13. Many apples a day
    will constipate you...

Why too much free music is bad

Ok so I love synthpop.
And I mean I love it love it love it.
And I don’t mind some amount of bitpop or chiptunes.
So long as it’s super geeky and I can do the robot and feel like I’m reliving the 80’s.
And so when you have sites like last.fm that encourage upcoming artists and free (legal) music – it’s just wowsome.
And yes, when it comes to synthpop – I don’t think twice – I just blindly download whatever comes my way.
And then I start to listen to my brand new collection of synthpop.
Only it seems to sound like a weird version of synthpop.
And then it turns out the artist of the song I’m listening to is 'Bimbo Boy'
I smile at the name, and when I do my research on the net I come to know this is not synthpop, but gaypop.
Surprised by such a genre name (I never knew sexuality defined music genres), I continue to listen.
And then the music gets weirder and I visualize men in bunny costumes pole dancing.
And then the chorus comes and Bimbo Boy says "It’s like an earthquake when we get together".
And I feel sick.
And I feel sicker cos I’m a semi-homophobe who cannot tolerate Bimbo Boy's gaypop.

Help me

:(((((((

__________________________________________________

Afterthought on 19 May 08:

I put my 'homophobia' to the test... and listened to a few gaypop bands - they're typically electronic bands whose music is like a combo of synthpop n bubble gum pop & I realsied this particular guy's (bimbo boy) music was plain BAD.
There were sum other bands/dj's (one called 'Gay against you') - n they were quite cool.

Playlist on my mind

1. For the Love of Money - The O'Jays
2. Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani
3. Paisa ye Paisa - Kishore Kumar
4. Money for Nothing - Dire Straits
5. All 'bout the money - Meja
6. Money money money - ABBA
7. Mony Mony (alimony??) - Billy Idol
8. Material Girl - Madonna
9. If I Had A Million Dollars - Barenaked ladies
10. Bills, Bills, Bills - Destiny's Child

Note: No need to tell me about songs I missed. I'm only listing songs I like/have heard/can think of now, and most importantly - my current frame of mind :D

First and Tracked

Crazy Chechi - this one's for you!!

1. Do mallus eat red rice cos they are communists?
Mallu Colleague replies: and I suppose the congress party eats white rice?

2. Why can't a bad doctor be called a quacktor? To call a fake doctor a quack is offensive to a duck. Do you think quacktors take the hypocritic oath?

3. I like to look at my reflection in people'es eyes. Eyes are after all, eye-nas.

4. With reference to the weather:
Whenever these Madrasis are depressed, us Bloreans are depressed too.
(This is not a PJ, it's a sad joke - because it is about depression)

5. Is 'Race' a racy movie or a racist movie?
Udee: racy n saucy
Wiseman: I think it's about race. And by that line of thought, his next movie should be called 'Gender'

6. If hippies did the hop, can it be called the hip-hop?

7. I plan to make a movie on a lonely girl named Eleanor who is obsessed with football. The movie shall be called – Eleanor Rugby

8. If you are thrown out of a club, are you dismembered? And if they take you back in again - are you remembered?

9. Which supermodel is always in a soup?
Naomi 'Campbell'